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Forbidden Fruit Overview
Regnerus, Mark D., Forbidden Fruit: Sex & Religion in the Lives of American Teenagers,
Oxford University Press, 2007

Mark D. Regnerus, Ph.D., is Assistant Professor of Sociology and a Faculty Research Associate in the Population Research Center at the University of Texas at Austin. In writing this book, he employed a variety of research methods and drew upon several different data sources on American youth. His three primary sources were the national Survey of Youth and Religion, of which he was a project co-investigator, the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, and the National Survey of Family Growth. The book’s main purpose is to take an extended look into the real lives of American teenagers and to document whether or not religious faith affects how they think about sexuality and how they behave.

Dr. Regnerus interviewed more than 250 teenagers across America in his quest to answer the question, “What difference, if any, does religion make in adolescents’ sexual attitudes and behaviors?” Hoping to convey how adolescents really think about sex, how they desire its pleasure or fear its pain, how they actually go about making sexual decisions, and how they reconcile their religious faiths with the choices they make, he shares short stories of six adolescents. He also notes four emerging themes from his interviews:

1. The frenetic adolescent sexuality depicted in documentaries, films, music, and some scholarly books-wherein adolescents widely participate in casual sex, group sex, partner switching, pimping, etc.-is basically fiction.
2. Sexual activity among youth is often accompanied by feelings of ambivalence, sometimes buried under a mountain of positive peer affirmation.
3. Religious involvement alone does not equal religious influence on sexual attitudes and behavior.
4. It is hard to live against the grain. Youth with sexually permissive friends or in schools where a high percentage of their classmates have already had sex have a more difficult time avoiding sex, even if they want to steer clear and even if they have the religious resources to do so.

To help describe how participating in organized religion shapes sexual decision making, Dr. Regnerus shares accounts of other adolescents. Particularly interesting is what he calls the emergence of a new middle-class sexual morality that has little to do with a desire for virginity but nevertheless shuns intercourse in order to avoid risks associated with pregnancy and STDs.

The author presents six types of religious influence that shapes human behavior ranging from Irreligion where the adolescent knows what his/her belief system says, but may not care or may actively disagree and act in opposition to it, to Intentional religion where the adolescent’s behavior is influenced by religion and he/she is aware of it, acknowledging its effect by using religious language. Dr. Regnerus found the main types of religious influence on the sexual decisions of teenagers are Invisible, Instrumental, and Irrelevant religion, followed by Inconsistent religion and Irreligion. He mentions that many American teenagers would be placed in the Irrelevant or Invisible religion categories outright, since a majority of them, while belonging to a religious tradition, are not actively religious and exhibit little reflection about religious claims upon their sexual attitudes and activities. He concludes that intentional religiosity is rare among teenagers. However, he notes that perhaps the reason that intentionally religious motivation appears rare is that adolescents find it difficult to verbally express their religious convictions to a researcher.

Key Points:

• American teenagers are far from oversexed. The author notes that there is a difference between popular, mass media perceptions of adolescence as a hypersexual time of life and what teens actually related to him in person.
• Religiosity still matters in delaying first sex. Being involved in religion, taking it seriously, and making it a priority helps most adolescents to delay their first experience of intercourse.
• Deeply held religious commitments about sex are simply uncommon among youth, even religious ones.
• Few religious teens have internalized or are even able to articulate the sexual ethic taught by their denomination.
• The issue of sex education is a very urgent one because of the types of information that is available in the mass media, especially on the internet.
• After discussing parent-child communication and recent study findings, the author strongly concludes that most teenagers know very little about sex and about pregnancy risk.
• What parents say about sex has probably never been more important than it is today.
• Pledging reduces the occurrence of sexual relationships prior to marriage; however, the author concludes that the success of abstinence pledging is mixed.
• The only sexual message most religious youth are getting is, “Don’t do it until you’re married.” And this message doesn’t go far at all toward shaping sexual decision making.

Pornified Overview

Paul, Pamela, Pornified: How Pornography is Damaging Our Lives, Our Relationships and Our Families, New York, NY: Henry Holt and Co., 2005

Journalist Pamela Paul explores the pervasiveness of pornography as well as the damage it causes to individuals, families and American culture in her book, Pornified. Using research and personal interviews she discusses the specific effects of pornography on men, women, children and relationships.

Paul prefaces the book with a disclaimer: “I have chosen to use these individuals’ slang, graphic descriptions, and vulgar language because they accurately reflect the way in which people think about and discuss pornography. The use of sexually explicit and crude language is part of the story of how pornography is changing our lives....” (p.xi)

In the first chapter, Paul analyzes why men look at porn. She interviewed men who are pornography users, as well as those who are not, to find out what motivates them. “‘How can you even ask what pornography is for?’ laughs Christopher, a twenty-five year old, who works as a customer service representative....For Christopher, pornography is about sexual gratification, pure and simple. ‘It’s cheaper than a date with dinner and a movie.’” (p. 24) According to a professor from the University of Texas, who studies pornography, “[I]t appeals to men because it delivers without requiring any effort. Most men...use pornography as a means to sexual release without the typical real-life requirements of love and affection.” (p. 41) The author notes that often these men are attracted to the idea that “I can get a porn star.” (p. 43) One man explains, “I’m looking at women I don’t have a shot with. The fantasy is that I could actually get them.” (p. 43)

In Chapter 2, Paul discusses “Life in the Porn Lane,” delving into a history of the rise of pornography, as well as the business side of huge financial profits. She quotes Larry Flynt from a 2004 editorial stating, “The adult film industry in Southern California, XXX entertainment is a 9 billion to 14 billion business run with the same kind of thought and attention to detail that you’d find at GE, Mattel, or Tribune Co.” (p.53) Paul also states that the content of pornography has changed over time. “According to a major study of pornography across various media, with each iteration in technological advancement, pornography has become increasingly violent and nonconsensual.” (p.58) Paul describes the accessibility of porn, from magazines, to TV, to the Internet, to the most recent porn technology: “dirty driving.” “With built-in DVD players as the latest SUV accoutrement of choice, people can watch pornographic videos in the comfort and semiprivacy (depending on the tint of their car windows) of their automobiles.” (p.63)

In Chapter 3, Paul discusses the effects of pornography on men, including the “rush” of pornography and its mind-altering power. She comments about one well-known study documenting how watching pornography alters people’s perceptions of sexuality. (p. 77) Paul also states that over time, men who view porn need more and more content (including violence and other unnatural sexual acts) to experience the same level of stimulation. “What initially thrills eventually titillates, what excites eventually pleases, what pleases eventually satisfies. And satisfaction sooner or later yields to boredom. Even porn stars get boring after a while....” (p. 83)

Chapter 4 discusses the effects of pornography on women. Paul details how women’s interest in pornography has grown significantly in recent years, and how it is not as much “a guy thing” as in the past. At the same time, she also writes that a woman’s openness to pornography is often an attempt to please her male mate, and that rarely is a woman excited by the same level or graphic depiction of certain acts that men seem to be drawn towards.

Chapter 5 delves into the effects of pornography on relationships. According to one director of a family clinic, “[W]ith pornography, what happens too often is that the man starts making love to a picture rather than to his partner.” (p. 141) One woman comments, “Pornography is like an escape for men...The man just turns to that instead of his partner as a way of not having to deal with things or go through things with his partner. It prevents people from having intimate, vulnerable relationships.” (p.148) Paul also mentions that pornography can become a self seeking activity of one individual that negatively impacts couples. One psychotherapist says that 25% of the couples seeking treatment in her clinic have problems related to pornography. (p. 154) Another man who frequently looks at porn confesses that “Pornography... leads to lots of small lies.”(p. 165)

Chapter 6 describes the effects of children growing up in a “Pornifed” world and the young age in which many children are exposed to graphic sexual pictures, the cycle of pornography (a father passes it to his son, etc.), and the large number of teachers who have been accused and convicted of exposing students to pornography. Porn affects the way young people think about relationships. “Watching pornography, kids learn that women always want sex and that sex is divorced from relationships. They learn that men can have whomever they want and that women will respond the way men want them to.” (p. 188) She includes the real-life story of “Charlie” who went from using soft porn to being addicted to child pornography and almost abused his 14-year-old niece.

Chapter 7 discusses the compulsion that pornography use becomes for many people. One addict said, “[L]ast year...I was sitting in my office and received some porn email.... It piqued my interest. Soon I was looking at other sites. And now it’s been a year and I’m scared and I’m addicted. I can’t seem to stop.” (p. 216) Paul describes how this translates to relationships. “Bit by bit, addicts transfer their pornographic expectations to real life.” (p. 230) One man describes his addiction in the following way, “During that period of my life, sex had nothing to do with expressing love or affection....I became more selfish, because with porn, it was all about me—me feeling better, me getting more pleasure, me getting more excited. It was completely self-centered.” (p.232)

Paul concludes with two chapters on the realities of the negative impact of porn and the importance of forcefully speaking out against this pervasive activity so negatively impacting American culture. “The idea persists that people who dislike pornography are somehow repressed or wrestling under religious dogma or stymied by a conservative upbringing...It is tempting to acquiesce to the defensive cries of, ‘But it’s just naked women! It’s just sex!’ For there is nothing wrong with naked women or sex. But pornography is not just naked women, and it is not sex. The sexual acts depicted in pornography are more about shame, humiliation, solitude, coldness, and degradation than they are about pleasure, intimacy and love. The word pornography comes from the Greek porne, which means prostitute or whore, and graphos, which means depiction or writing. Pornography is, at its core, the commercialization of women, turning men into consumers and women into a product to be used and discarded...The longer we ignore the problem of pornography, the worse it becomes.” (p. 274-5)

Key Points:

Chapter 6, “Born into Porn: Kids in a Pornified Culture,” provides information on child pornography, on child/youth addicts and on child/youth predators. The book is a resource for assessing the state of the culture relative to pornography. It may be very helpful for parents and anyone working with young people to get their “finger on the pulse” of the situation among young people involving the Internet and pornography. Paul describes situations in which spouses or youth display addictive behaviors, which is helpful for someone who is personally struggling or who might know someone who is struggling with a pornography addiction. Paul’s depiction of Internet pornography serves as a resource for parents or abstinence educators who work with young people many of whom frequently use the Internet.

Taking Sex Differences Seriously Overview

Rhoads, Steven E., Taking Sex Differences Seriously, San Francisco, CA: Encounter Books, 2004

Taking Sex Differences Seriously essentially discredits the idea that differences between men and women are socially constructed and, instead, argues that they are intrinsic and not to be taken lightly. Basing his writing on years of scientific research and teaching experience, Steven Rhoads, Ph.D., professor of Public Policy at the University of Virginia, argues that men and women are inherently different and that sex differences are deeply rooted in human nature.

The book is presented in four sections. In the first section, Dr. Rhoads analyzes studies about biological sex differences. He explains the effects of “androgynous parenting,” which applies a non-gendered approach to parenting, on children’s sexual differences. He also covers the biological basis for masculinity and femininity, and policy implications for sexual differentiation.

In the second section, Dr. Rhoads explores differences in male and female approaches to sexual relationships, including sexual drive and “variety” (desired number of partners). According to the studies presented, men’s sexual drive and desire for variety are much stronger than women’s. Dr. Rhoads also studied men’s and women’s ability to contract sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) (women are more vulnerable to getting them), attitudes toward casual sex (men are much more open to having casual sex and are drawn to it), and the effects of fatherless families on children and society. He includes results of a study that show the difference in age of menarche in girls in households where the biological father is present, households where the father is absent, and households with stepfathers. In fatherless households, menarche occurs earlier in girls than in homes where fathers are present. Interestingly, menarche occurs even earlier in girls in homes where stepfathers are present than in homes where their biological fathers are absent.

In the third section, “Men Want Their Way,” Dr. Rhoads explores studies on sexual differentiation in risk taking (men are less likely to wear seatbelts and more likely to die saving someone’s life), biology and sports (tying in effects of the Title IX Women in Sports legislation), and aggression. On this last topic, he refers to a study on homicides stating that “...across cultures there are 25-30 men who kill another man for every woman who kills another woman.” (p. 135).

In the fourth section, Dr. Rhoads delves into the topic of motherhood, and gives many examples of women being better equipped for nurturing and mothering children than fathers, supporting the overall idea that children need both mothers and fathers, not two androgynous parents. He cites a policy in Sweden that received media coverage encouraging fathers to take time off from work following the births of their children. Despite generous monetary incentives for fathers, the policy didn’t work and was considered “a disappointment, if not a downright failure.”(p. 196) Fathers did not seem to be interested in getting paid to be “maternal.”

Dr. Rhoads concludes his book by discussing the inherent connection between marriage and sex differences. He writes that most women “want” marriage, in the sense of desiring motherhood and spousal intimacy, and that most men “need” marriage, in that marriage compels men to become more mature by placing them in the provider role and encouraging them to attain fulfilling relationships.

Key Points:

• Dr. Rhoads discusses sex differences with regard to a decline in marriage rates and how this decline negatively impacts society.
• Dr. Rhoads studies how boys and girls are motivated differently to abstain from sex until marriage; for example, dynamics of sexual desire, differences in approach to casual sex and, often, the desire for a variety of sexual partners.
• Dr. Rhoads holds that denying sex differences negatively impacts society in a number of different ways, such as females opting out of motherhood and later regretting the decision, or the Title IX sports legislation, which limits opportunities for males to participate in sports.
• In Part 2, Chapters 3, 4, and 5 deal with the topic of sexuality and discuss such areas as sexual differentiation in approach and understanding of sex, contracting STDs, impact of the sexual revolution, and influences of fatherless families.

Unhooked Overview
Stepp, Laura Sessions, Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both, New York, NY: Riverhead Books, 2007

Laura Sessions Stepp, a Washington Post reporter, followed nine young women (three in high school, three at Duke University (Duke) and three at George Washington University (GW)) over the course of an academic year to discover what “hooking up” is all about. She attended class with them, socialized with them, and listened to them discuss their social life. All of the girls except two had hooked up, some more than others. Their names were changed to protect their identities.

Based on discussions with the nine students, Stepp defines hooking up and its consequences: “Hooking up can consist entirely of one kiss, or it can involve fondling, oral sex, anal sex, intercourse or any combination of those things. It can happen only once with a partner, several times during a week or over many months. Partners may know each other well, only slightly or not at all....Feelings are discouraged, and both partners share an understanding that either of them can walk away at any time.” (p. 24) She found that the girls were ultimately seeking to love and be loved, “.... But for reasons ranging from career plans to distrust of men, their prevailing philosophy is that love should wait....” When they unexpectedly find themselves becoming attached to someone they are hooking up with, they are confused, frustrated, and hurt. Probably the most significant finding is that “Hooking up leaves them wholly unprepared for both the steadfastness and the flexibility a loving relationship requires.” (p. 25)

The book is divided into four sections. Section One, Hooking Up: What It Means, includes Jamie’s story. Jamie, a senior at Duke, claims girls hook up mainly because their friends do. Section Two, What It Looks Like, What It Feels Like, examines the stories of high school students Sienna, Anna and Mieka, and college student Nicole. Sienna, a competitive sophomore, attending a prestigious Washington, D.C. private school made the following inquiry: “Who says girls can’t play guys just like guys have always played girls?” (p. 36) However, Anna, a 10th grader at a Washington, D.C. public school, isn’t interested in hooking up; she is “...looking for a boyfriend, not a hookup partner.” Mieka, a junior, attending a Washington, D.C. predominantly African American public school, had attended Catholic schools through the 9th grade. Mieka found that, “[B]ehavior in her public school was anything but respectful, putting her in a position of abandoning what she knew to be right if she wanted to fit in.” Nicole, a sophomore from Dallas who received a full academic scholarship to GW, refers to beer as “liquid courage,” and says that alcohol and hooking up go together, “...[alcohol] is the social lubricant that fuels the unhooked culture....” (p. 115)

Section Three, How We Got There, examines three coeds: Shaida, Cleo, and Victoria. According to Stepp, feminism is a “...driving force behind the phenomenon of hooking up.” (p. 143) Shaida, a sophomore and self-proclaimed feminist attending Duke, grew up in Irvine, California, to Iranian parents. During Stepp’s first meeting with Shaida, she told Stepp, “I can differentiate between the men I like and the men I use—and I do use them.” (p. 145) Although Shaida talked tough, months later, after their time together had ended, she wrote what she actually felt: “Sex isn’t good unless it’s intimate.... There exists a very fine line between being sexually liberated and being sexually used.” (p. 167) Cleo, a senior at GW from Dallas explained her feelings about her new romantic relationship: “It will suck if it’s bad, but it will suck even more if it’s good,” (p. 169) Victoria, a freshman at Duke from Johnson City, Tennessee, of Haitian descent made the following statements after learning about the hookup culture at Duke, “It feels hopeless when I think about the culture here....Who am I going to find who really likes every aspect of me...?” (p. 197)

Section Four, Hooking Up: Why It Matters, examines Alicia, a junior at Duke. She “...was high school valedictorian, an award-winning gymnast, a church youth group leader and Sunday school teacher.” (p. 221) Alicia was born in Korea and adopted as an infant by an American couple—loving, strict, conservative Christians—who raised her in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. Alicia explains her generation’s view of life and relationships: “My generation—actually our society— is into taking shortcuts...Get rich faster....Win instant approval. Hookups are like the shortcut to intimacy, while dating is the long way around, the scenic route. We want to get there, wherever ‘there’ is, as quickly as possible, and I think we’ve lost the ability to enjoy the journey.” (p. 253) After experimenting with hook ups, she eventually meets a senior, who is also tired of hook ups, and they decide to build a relationship.

Stepp concludes with a Letter to Mothers and Daughters that provides suggestions and guidance. She says it is the responsibility of mothers to help others, especially daughters, improve their lives, by discussing “...matters that connect the mind, body and heart” with them. (p. 259) Her advice to daughters, specifically the young women in the book, is to “Explore intimacy within relationships. Avoid hookups.” (p. 261) Stepp encourages girls and women to respect themselves (including their bodies) and their partners and gives this advice: “ Your body is your property. No one has a right to enter unless you welcome them in....So, when you say ‘I’m worth waiting for,’ you should also be saying ‘And so are you.’ If your partner is not worth waiting for, he or she is not worth it, period.” (p. 262) Stepp also stresses the fact that girls “possess a lot more power before [they] sleep with a guy than afterward.” (p. 267)

Key Points:

1. “Hooking up” inhibits intimacy and love from developing since it is based on fulfilling immediate physical gratification and lacks respect for both parties.
2. Girls feel entitled to get what they want. In relationships, they want control. Yet guys consider themselves the winners as far as hookups are concerned.
3. Since young women say hookups aren’t satisfying long term, it is hard to understand why smart and talented young women allow themselves to be used.
4. “The physical risks of sex can be addressed with a pill, patch and condom, but there’s no contraception available for the heart.” (p. 178)
5. Girls and young women think that oral sex is safe because they can avoid getting pregnant, but most are not aware (or just don’t think about the fact) that they can get sexually transmitted infections from oral sex.

When Sex Goes to School Overview

Luker, Kristin, When Sex Goes to School: Warring Views on Sex—and Sex Education— Since the Sixties, New York, NY: W.W. Norton and Company, Inc., 2006.

Kristin Luker, Ph.D., professor of Sociology at the University of California, spent two decades researching the evolution of sex education in the United States. To undertake her research, Dr. Luker studied four very different communities around the country, including one suburban East Coast town, a West Coast rural small town, a small community in the south, and an affluent community in the Rust Belt East. In each, she spent long periods of time interviewing and getting to know people who were passionate about abstinence education as well as those passionate about comprehensive sex education.

Dr. Luker’s book begins with an overview of the history of sex education from the early 1900s with the American Social Hygiene Association, through the 1960’s sexual revolution, to the present, including government funding of abstinence education and its surrounding debates. She also studied and compared “sexual liberals” and “sexual conservatives” including underlying philosophies and convictions (“for conservatives, sex is sacred, while for liberals, it’s natural” p. 99), as well as influential factors in the beliefs of both. In addition, Dr. Luker discusses the relationship between morality and sexuality and the politics of sex. She concluded with a chapter about what she thinks is best for young people regarding sex education.

Dr. Luker, who describes herself as progressive in social matters, asked challenging questions during her interviews to learn more about how sex education came to be controversial, and what makes people so passionate about sex education.

• Throughout the book the author states that sexual education is really about deeper issues; for example, on p. 7 “I want to show you that the fights about sex are also fights about gender, about power and trust and hierarchy, about human nature, and not surprisingly, about what sex really is and what it means in human life.”
• Similarly, she writes that at its core, much of the question surrounding sex education is connected with the relationship between sex and marriage. (p. 27)
• Dr. Luker presents different (and opposing) views on sex education and much that goes into the making of this viewpoint.
• Dr. Luker also addresses the role of parents with regard to sexual education and if and how it should be addressed in school vs. home. For example, she writes that when she first began the study, many current advocates of abstinence education were then opposed to sexual education in schools, as it took away control from parents. (p. 25)
• She writes that many of the current “culture wars” are a response to events in the 1960s. “ ...most of the culture wars are really about sex, and all the other issues–clothing, teen pregnancy, family values, special rights for gay people—are different ways of talking about the same thing.” (p. 69)

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